So tired. exhausted. Up all night last night. I was thinking about this today at work. I have this image of blue in my mind, or, I try to imagine blue in my mind, and it's so calming. It's really amazing. But then I look at this color and it topples me. I heard that people dream in black in white. Maybe I'm just getting my thought of blue confused with a memory of blue. 

There's something very constant about this blue. Constants are never something that I've been good at. I love change. I think this is a weakness. Routine can be a curse, and it's something that I think I've always feared. I can't even stay focused on blue. I have to look deep into the bleu and let my eyes see shapes in it that aren't really there. I see a lot of diamonds.

I really get lost, I start to see layers of blue. I don't even know where it stops and starts at one point...

I just think of electronics, really. The blue screen on pc's....tv's..there is just something very artificial about blue to me...heavy saturated, like something someone is wearing from the eighties,

or a really cray novelty yarn from AC Moores....I'm trying to think about myself right now but I can't think of anything but this electric, artificial, electronic blue that's swallowing me.