i'm not good at focusing. Even taking 15 minutes out of my day is a challenge; thoughts in my mind are running around everything

janea and chris, nicole, britney spears' womanizer, chris, last night, the woman's exchange after crepes but they're closed on sundays, chris, work, lisa, disgust and distaste, a hard, bold, authentic hate, 

i can almost see these things behind the blue, the blue acting as a filter for them. i try to bring my thoughts back to the center of my mind and fold them away for fifteen minutes and come bac to the blue but its damn near impossible.